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| the last stack of papers |
My two internships and part-time job - they're all finished. Completed. Done.
This past Wednesday was my last day at the learning center - and on Tuesday night, I graded my last stack of papers. I don't know if the picture above truly indicates how big these stacks of paper were that I had to deal with on an every-other-day basis, but they were quite a pain. Countless journals, vocabulary sentences, reading packets, grammar packets, writing packets...but I am going to miss the small surprises that I received as I went through them (as I have noted in my previous entries) and all the lessons I learned from them.
I was kind of sad that so few kids were remaining on my last day of work, and some of my favorites had already quit (yes, teachers always do have favorites!) - but I was happy to get out of there having experienced some of the sweetest moments I had in all three summers of my teaching experience. Honestly though, it's harder and harder to get attached to the kids at a personal level each year. I haven't figured out why this is - maybe the attitude I come in every summer is detached every year, maybe the kids are just changing to an impersonal level, maybe the gap between the kids and me is growing as I get older. I don't know. The first summer that I taught at the learning center, I was in charge of 3rd-5th graders and a small group of middle-schoolers - but I became attached to them at the end of the summer and had known them at an intimate level. Maybe it's due to the fact that we went on a summer trip together, but the goodbye was sadder back then. In fact, I felt weird at the end of Wednesday that I didn't feel very attached to these kids at all. Maybe it's due to the fact that this summer, I was only at the learning center on Mondays and Wednesdays, from 8am to 3pm, as opposed to last two summers where I was there full time from 8am to 6pm, Monday-Thursday.
Whatever the reason may be for my particular detachment from the kids this summer, I am done with the learning center. I wish I can see them grow to mature little beings (and see 'M' get his "mastery degree" from Harvard at age 20), but this is where my "fate" with them ends. I have come to realize that connections between people - "destiny and fate" between two people - cannot be forged, manipulated or forced. If it's meant to be, we'll see each other again someday. If it's meant to be, we'll be in each other's lives even if we will against it. That's just how life goes.
I totally didn't expect this entry on saying goodbye to the learning center to end up being this lengthy and was thus planning to write on my final roles as an intern on this post as well - but that will just have to wait for another day.
Summer is coming to a close. I'm honestly scared for what's coming up next.
