I have been writing here a lot lately - I am not really sure what this means, but there have been so many cluttered thoughts in my mind lately that I really can't stand it sometimes.
I keep looking for you. Even though I know you're not a part of my life anymore.
It is literally driving me crazy. On the one hand, I want time to go by fast so I can just get over this nonsense and be "whole" again. On the other hand, I really want to just stop time and think. And just...love. I wish I can truly love every moment of my life, knowing that no matter how I feel, a single moment passes by way too quickly - there is really no time to be disappointed, hurt, feeling "down"...
Whattttt is going on here?
Someone once asked me if it gets easier after the first time.
I think my answer remains true: it doesn't really get easier - you still get ridiculously hurt and that uneasy feeling will still prevail, disrupting your entire life for a while - but you learn to cope with it better, you learn to hide it better. And by "hide" I mean not only from others, but from yourself as well.
Ugh. Emotions. It's been seriously way. too. long.
About Me
- elisaxbanana
I'm just a college student who is desperately trying to grapple with the idea of "growing up".
ESFJ. :)
If you would like to only read about my Study Abroad experience (or preparation for studying abroad) in Wales, please click on the tag "Study Abroad" (and it will only show posts related to Wales/my travels/my studies abroad). All posts that I write while abroad will have the tag, regardless of whether or not I am blogging something specific to being abroad.